As the ****Hell-Freuds**** ad goes, you walk in, get a snog, your problem is instantly solved and the assistant waves goodbye.
In reality, you walk in, wait for ages, shout for assistance, go to the front desk, ask, shout, yell...
Eventually give up and decide "I'm an expert, I'll have a go at this myself"...
Of course upon deciding this you're instantly interrupted and delayed by a thick ASSistant who knows NOTHING about EVERYTHING and is irritated by your rude insistence to be tended to like they do on telly when you walked in.
You'll check through their parts book, finding they're 5 years out of date.. ASSistant will tell you in about 5 different ways why they are completely incompetent and know nothing, cant help but wish they could and would you mind hanging around talking about how little they know about everything and how that's a real bummer.
Tools are over priced, low quality on the whole. (the lifetime gurantee jobbies, ok theyre ok, but WAY over-priced)
Cycle center is useless, I took a cycle in with a puncture, needing a repair - 2 lads sat doing nothing,
ME - "Can you fix this puncture"
THEM - "NO SORRY YOU'LL HAVE TO BOOK IT IN"...
ME - "Its a puncture, I need it now, you're doing nothing, whats the crack?"
THEM - "Our supervisor has gone away"
ME - "Can I use the tyre pump?"
THEM - "No we're not insured"
ME - "FvCK OFF, FvCK YOU, WHATS THE FvCKING POINT? FvCKS SAKE,! BIKE SHOP CANT FIX A PUNCTURE WITHOUT SUPERVISION? CANT LEND A PUMP WITHOUT INSURANCE? WHAT THE FvCK IS GOING ON??, BIKE CENTER??? BY CYCLISTS FOR CYCLISTS? FvCK YOU! FvUCKIN PRICKS!"
Asking for STP OIL ADDITIVE...
ASSistant "you want stop-smoke"
ME "no, I want STP oil additive"
ASSistant "Yeah, Stop-Smoke, for piston slap"
ME "No, my engine hasnt got piston slap"
ASSistant "You want wynns engine flush"
ME "Yes, maybe, but to drink, to help me deal with you, not for the car, you got STP or what?
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