Welcome to Parcel2go.com. Someone shall be with you shortly.
You are now connected with Worker drone 1
Worker drone 1: Welcome to Parcel2go.com online. How can I help you today?
Me : My order was not collected today
Me : P2G10463162
Worker drone 1: Hi Mr Customer,
Worker drone 1: Can you give me a minute or two to look into this for you?
Me : go for it
Worker drone 1: According to tracking, it appears they came at 19:36. Can you confirm this?
Me : Just spoken to the vendor and nobody has been today. Besides which, 19:36 for collection is totally unacceptable when the order stated you would be collecting between 9am and 17.30 - what is going on?
Me : In addition, I need that case tomorrow, Wednesday. I am gigging with a new keyboard which needs that flight case
Worker drone 1: I know that is quite late, I am sorry for the inconvenience caused.
Worker drone 1: I’m really sorry that things went wrong here. Unfortunately the courier has not left record of why the collection failed, so I’m unable to clarify why this happened. Failed collections can happen for a wide variety of reasons. It might be that the driver went to the wrong address – could you confirm the full collection address for me?
Me : The vendor suggested City Link are cowboys - I don't know, but this would tend to support that opinion
Me : (provides address for collection)
Me : the item will be available for collection tomorrow, but unfortunately it MUST be before 10.30am as the vendor is away after that
Me : which was why I specified Tuesday as the original day for collection
Worker drone 1: I can rebook this for collection tomorrow. I can inform the courier that you request a collection before 10:30am as the parcel will not be available afterwards. However, I must advise you that as CityLink are not contracted to collect within a specific time-window, I cannot guarantee that they will honour this request.
Me : Yes but seeing as they messed up, they must guarantee to collect before 10.30 because if they don't, I am left with no keyboard case for some time as the vendor is going away
Me : They may not be contracted to pick up before 10.30, but then they're not contracted to mess up either
Me : given that they screwed up, they need to go the extra mile here!
Me : in addition, I need this case at my house tomorrow late afternoon!
Me : is there anybody out there?
Worker drone 1: Apologies for the delay in response.
Worker drone 1: I will ask, but I cannot guarantee a collection before 10:30am.
Me : well that's not good enough - if they don't get there before 10.30, I don't get my case
Me : I can't believe that this is beyond them - they screwed up, they need to make amends. People waited in all day for their collection today - they didn't show, so now they have to bend over backwards a bit for us
Worker drone 1: I've rebooked for tomorrow. I do understand your frustration and I do hope a collection pre 10:30 is made so you get your case.
Me : Worker drone 1, I can see I'm not getting through to you - if you cannot guarantee this, who can?
Me : What I'm trying to say is that if they don't get there before 10.30am, there is no point going - nobody will be there
Worker drone 1: We don't offer any couriers which can guarantee the parcel's collection within a specific time window.
Me : OK - well I obviously need to speak to someone much higher up the food chain - who do you recommend?
Worker drone 1: I can transfer you to one of my supervisors.
Me : Are they going to spin me the same story?
Worker drone 1: It's fact rather than story, but I can't prejudge what my supervisor may say.
Me : Fact it may be, but when your company has cocked up, you need to make sure corrective action is taken
Me : please put your supervisor on. Ask them to read this exchange then tell me what they can come up with.
Worker drone 1: Okay.
Worker drone 1: Bear with me a moment and I'll transfer you.
Please wait while I transfer the chat to Worker drone 2.
You are now connected with Worker drone 2
Me : Worker drone 2, speak to me........
Worker drone 2: Can you give me a minute or two to look into this for you?
Worker drone 2: Can I just take your name please?
Me : why not - go for it - all I need is a guarantee that a) the item will be collected by 10.30am tomorrow and b) it will be delivered by 6pm tomorrow
Worker drone 2: I am afraid that is not possible, I can now only arrange collection for tomorrow and delivery for Thursday.
Me : Worker drone 2 - that is not good enough - your people messed up, you now need to take corrective action. If you're just going to repeat what Worker drone 1 said, then I'm not talking to the right people.
Me : What is the name of the chief executive officer of your company please?
Me : as well as the customer services director
Worker drone 2: Unfortunately it is not possible to arrange this. The service is advertised as not a guaranteed collection. I can therefore only rebook this for collection tomorrow and delivery on Thursday. If you are unhappy with this courier I can change to TNT 24 hour delivery?
Me : Worker drone 2, I don't think you're hearing me. People waited in ALL DAY TODAY for a courier to turn up. No one did. After 10.30am tomorrow there will be NO-ONE at the collection address, therefore if you do not go there BEFORE 10.30am, there is NO POINT GOING.
Me : After 10.30, the people will be on their way to the channel tunnel to catch a shuttle to France for a long weekend
Worker drone 2: I am afraid we cannot guarantee this slot, we are a third party company and do not have access to the drivers logs so we cannot manipulate collection times.
Worker drone 2: It is possible for them to leave unattended or for them to take to the depot.
Me : OK - you should be talking directly to City Link
Worker drone 2: If they do leave unattended the parcel is not covered until collection.
Me : No - not possible
Me : Worker drone 2 - please provide me with the names of the personnel I requested earlier
Worker drone 2: I do not have this information, you will need to email firstname.lastname@example.org, which is our complaints department to request this.
Me : Of course you do - are you telling me you don't know who runs the company that employs you?
Worker drone 2: Yes I do but if you wish to request this information you will need to contact our complaints department Mr Customer.
Me : OK - this is going to stink - it'll be on facebook, twitter, google and everywhere I can leave an opinion on your lamentable dreadful service
Worker drone 2: I am very sorry Mr Customer, Unfortunately this is the advertised service you have purchased and you have agreed to have read our terms and contions that state this. I cannot upgrade to a same day delivery.
Worker drone 2: Neither can i specify a collection time, I can by all means request it but as I have explained I cannot guarantee this.
Me : of course you can, you're just following a script with pre-written responses - I need to talk to someone that can take a decision
Worker drone 2: I am not using pre written scripts Mr Customer.
Worker drone 2: and I am afraid I cannot
Worker drone 2: We do not have a service that we can arrange this with.
Me : YTou guys screwed up. I came here with a problem expecting some help, and I have had precisely nothing
Me : therefore I can't see much point in continuing this
Worker drone 2: You agreed to our terms and conditions, which state the collections are Not guaranteed.
Me : So you did not guarantee to pich the item up today?
Me : pick
Worker drone 2: I can only rebook,I can also offer you a 50% discount code on your next citylink 24 hour order?
Worker drone 2: No we did not guarantee to pick this item up today.
Me : Erm, after this, there will be no further order with city link, or parcel2go
Worker drone 2: Ok
Worker drone 2: I am very sorry that this will be the case
Worker drone 2: I do have to explain that no collection is guaranteed. This is why we advertise them as such.
Me : well I shall make sure this conversation has a much wider audience. It has been cut and pasted into a word document - trust me Worker drone 2 - I will make sure it spreads far and wide
Me : Kindly ensure my money is refunded immediately
Worker drone 2: I and Parcel2go.com are not hiding anything here, I am only reiterating the advertisement.
Me : is that something you can arrange?
Me : can you arrange a refund of my money?
Worker drone 2: There are two ways we can refund your order for you. Either we can pay the amount of £10.19 back to the original source of payment which can take two working days, or alternatively we can offer you an enhanced amount of £15.00 which we can add to your prepay account for use on future parcel deliveries. The latter can be done within 24-48 hours for you.
Me : or is that not guaranteed either?
Me : No - I wouldn't trust your organisation to run a drinking session in a well-stocked brewery - please ensure the money is refunded to its source
Worker drone 2: Ok certainly.
Worker drone 2: I have now cancelled this on our system for you. Whilst I have also requested a cancellation with the courier, I must advise that there is a possibility that the collection may still be attempted by the driver should the courier not receive the request in time. Should this be the case, you must refuse collection in order to avoid having your refund rejected.
Worker drone 2: As requested, I have now arranged for a refund back to the original source of payment. As advised this can take up to two working days to process.
Worker drone 2: I have emailed you confirmation of this.
Me : If payment is not refunded I shall cancel the transaction with my bank and seek arbitration
Me : Trust me - this DOES work and I shall exercise it
Worker drone 2: Ok
Me : and Worker drone 2? thanks for nothing
Worker drone 2: Have a great evening
Worker drone 2: Many thanks for contacting Parcel2go.com Online. If you do require any further assistance please do not hesitate to come back to us.
The chat session has been closed by your Parcel2Go Representative.
Subsequent to this, they did try and pick the item up the following day, at noon, at which time there was no one there, as I tried to explain!
I have put several humourous comments (no bad language) on their facebook page - they've all been removed!!!
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