Matthew´s profile

Reviews (8)

Kijiji

Tieving buggers you

Stole 600 dollars from some dude. There are more honourable ways of earning money you twats

Cnet

Fuck Yearh!

All of the best free internet shit I got from you. Here's a virtual tongue kiss

Currys

I'm thuper, thankth for athking

I just filled out a bunch of these and ran out of dumb shit to say. Bamboocha?

Waitrose

Wait, Rose

I like it when my brain functions long enough between the alcoholic blackouts to be able to write, well let's be honest, inane shit random places on the internet. Maybe one day I'll laugh at something like this because I saw a screen shot on some funny pictures website. Ona can but aspire to be great.

Opodo

I like apples me.

I'm drunk and bored so I thought you deserved a big old thumbs up by way of five stars. I've never travelled with you and, to be honest, am quite unlikely to as I live in another country. But you I thought your name stood out from the rest. Well I hope if a person reads this and a computer doesn't just pick up on the 5 star thing and make up it's own comment that you have a very nice day. And remember, you too could be as drunk and awesome as me. All it requires is a lot of alcohol and a very limited imagination. May all your children walk forward

Sheilaand Sydney Polak found this review useful

Virgin

You said virgin.

Well basically I'm half cut on red wine (which is gonna give me a nasty hangover but that's not your fault) and TRUSTPILOT asked for my opinion on a limited list of companies and since it didn't offer any from the country I live in then I thought some poor soul who is used to reading messages like one i just sent to Bryanair might be able to laugh at this if their spirit hasn't been crushed by reading afore mentioned messages. I've lost track of what I was writing now so I'll finish by saying Richard Branson is the dude and I'd like his money some day so I can do this all the time. And gravy tastes nice.

Ryanair

Sucks big time balls. Sweaty balls.

Seats are designed for Thalidomide victims. (the ones who have short legs). You charge me if i want to take a bag big enough to hold more than a toothbrush. Now you want to charge if I want to use the toilet. (from now on I'm gonna take a guiness shit to get my moneys worth). And you're the only company I can fly with from where I live. Which sucks big sweaty balls. Plus your mum is probably really hairy and likes dog porn.

Gymnordic.com

Jolly good show chaps.

Well jolly good show chaps. Though if one might add but one small whoopsy on your part. The date on which my jolly good magic powder should have been sent was accurate enough but the date it should have arrived was two days earlier than it's actual arrival. But let's not dwell on such a matter. Let us jolly well blame it on the ruddy danish postal service. Well certainly was a pleasure old chap. And many thanks again for your quality service. Tally ho.

Matthew´s profile

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Matthew
Reviewer
United States

About

I'm probably gonna get banned from this depending on how people react to my highly professional reviews so I'm not sure it matters.